Do you know how useful a purse is? Not only can it hold your phone, wallet, keys, etc., but it’s also good for sneaking snacks into the movies or those tiny bottles of liquor into the bar (hey — we all have to save money somehow). While it can get pricey if you’re into designers, grab a $20 knock-off on the street and call it a day. Also, the “murse,” or man purse, will never catch on. Sorry.
This can really go for the entire “manscaping” category. Filing, shaping, waxing, and painting rituals are usually reserved for the females. But pedicures are serious luxury. How often can you pay somebody else $15 to rub your feet for half an hour and paint them pretty colors? Guys usually only get them when “dragged” there by a girlfriend, and have to pretend to be unhappy the whole time.
Bathrooms are the best places to gossip about other people you’re hanging with, plot strategy, and take selfies in the mirror. So guys are seriously missing out. It’s still weird for them to head to the loo together. And if the rules are really strict, do you have to wait for somebody to come back before you can head there yourself? What if you really have to go?
This is a big one — have you ever waited in a New York City subway station in the middle of July in a suit? You can bet that your female counterparts are wearing breezy dresses and skirts that are still totally office appropriate, but much more comfortable to wear on the muggy streets. Plus, women’s fashion just has more options in general, and is way more fun to play around with.
Guys get zits too, folks, but they don’t necessarily have a handy tube of concealer lying around. Ladies can cover up anything from an unsightly zit to those tell-tale bags under the eyes that would let your coworkers know about your late night out (or even to hide a poorly placed hickey…). But unless a dude has a female roomie or is comfortable buying his own make up, he’ll just have to suffer this one out.
There’s more to life than beer or a jack and Coke (though they’re a big part of it), and those fancy cocktails on the bar menu are pretty tasty. Plus they come with cute umbrellas or toothpicks of fruit, meaning you get a little snack to accompany your drink. But when something is bright pink and served in a cosmo glass, it’s difficult to stomach for dudes. Important note: exceptions can be made when on tropical vacations.
Going to the club is a lot more fun if you dance, and it’s a bit weird to head to the dance floor alone — unless you’re one of those guys just looking to grind up on girls and skeeze everybody out. And since guys are usually weird about dancing with one another (although you really only think you look weird, it looks fine to everybody else!), they’re forever stuck at the bar.
Researchers have actually found that women are better at multitasking than men. In an experiment, they gave 50 males and 50 females eight minutes to perform three tasks at the same time: doing simple math, finding something on a map, and designing a strategy for how they would search for keys in a field. They also received a phone call in the middle of the test to see if they would answer. On average, the women performed all of the tasks to a higher degree than the men, demonstrating once again that there is nothing weak about the fairer sex.
Though high heels are horribly uncomfortable, how many five-foot, six-inch-tall guys do you know who wouldn’t mind tacking on a few extra inches? High heels are pretty exclusively reserved for the ladies at this point in fashion time, and they can range anywhere from a little height boost to a serious six-inch surge. Plus, they make our butts look fabulous.
Unless guys are really comfortable with their sexual orientation, they’re normally scared to express bromance with their lips. Girls can! The best thing a girl can have is a GBF (gay best friend); saying hello and goodbye, or just getting a surge of love for their male confidants can be expressed through Euro-kissing, or plain old lip-locking. And even though men can turn it into a chauvinistic game, girls don’t mind kissing their best girlfriends, too!
This certainly does not go for all women, whether medically or by personal choice. But it’s a beautiful thing to go through the nine months of pain, agony, fear, hope, excitement, and the inevitable achievement of your own child. While it’s just as much the dad’s as yours, there are undoubtedly many sensitive, earthy men who’d take the challenge if they could! Who knows with science: maybe the movie “Junior” will be a reality one day!
Meg Ryan heralded the way, and decades later us girls are still being complimentary when we have to (so to speak). Without getting into technicalities, it’s much easier for women to reach a vocally climatic crescendo than men, who are plagued with having to…um…show something for their orgasm.
Yep, unless he’s your ultimate frisbee buddy, guys are getting handed the dreaded slip of paper if they’re pulled over. Women know what to do! “Oh officer, I’m so sorry, I was in such a hurry and…I…(start whimpering, tearing up a bit)…I won’t speed ever again!” Officer: “Now, now, ma’am. No need to cry. I’m going to give you a warning, but next time please do stay within 50 mph of the limit.” Pull away without a drop of mascara smudged!
Same idea here: the line for the door is long, you’re in your tallest heels and your best skirt, the hunky man dressed all in black is staring straight ahead like a London Beefeater. Don’t worry one second about getting you and your girlfriends in. Start with a few lines: “Hi! Bored tonight?” (because they definitely are). “Tired from working out 25 hours a week?” (because they also surely are). Conversation ensues, selfies are taken, maybe even numbers exchanged…and the rope of silicon is lifted for you, easy-peasy!
It’s pretty noticeable when a guy has long hair; if it happens to work, it’s a matter of particular preference whether a woman will find him sexy (“I’m just not into long hair on men!”). With girls, it’s great. Braiding, Princess Leia buns, a sloppy pony tail after working out, curls, highlights…sky’s the limit with our hair.
It’s not something so divergent, singular or unique when a girl cries. When a guy cries, he’s “sooo sensitive” or “not man enough.” While there should never, ever be a fissure between how genders react to sad, happy, or frightening stimuli, the world has slapped down men who cannot “man up” with their feelings. Therefore, women take charge with their tears. The result? Next slide, please!
On average, women live four years longer than men. That’s four more years for going skydiving, traveling to exotic locations, or just pinching butts in the retirement home of the hunky 80-year-olds (everybody looks hunky when you’re 95). Take that, fellas!
